waste.
pumpkin muffins... no, pumpkin donuts... no, pumpkin cookies...
I look forward to fall baking like I look forward to a beach-side summer vacation.. the first weekend of sweet and nutty aromas fill the house and are sure to set the tone for decorative pillows and Saturday markets.. ahhh seasons are such a gift.. I live for this simple, joyful moment.. it just wraps you up in memories of the past, and hope for holiday celebrations soon to come..
Creating a new recipe inspires me.. it fills me up, it brings me places, and it teaches me.
I love that I can be creative through every sense.. marrying notes of spices, feeling the texture before.. tasting it after.. the way all the ingredients come together - sometimes after careful planning, sometimes by complete happenstance.. into a beautiful masterpiece..
So it was decided... pumpkin cookies.
Round one.. gummy texture, rose like cake..
Round two.. tasted like cardboard..
Round three.. I clearly missed some fundamental step, ingredient, technique... it was time to turn to the professionals - I decided to use a recipe that had already been tested.. FAILED, again.
I felt defeated.. not only had I failed repeatedly.. but I'd wasted so many ingredients, I'd wasted money, and time that I would not get back.. seems silly, right? These are just cookies for crying out loud.
I knew it all seemed so trivial. I had to take a step back and ask myself why this series of failed baking attempts was bothering me so much. And what I realized was this... it wasn't about the outcome at all. It wasn't about the wasted ingredients, the wasted money, it wasn't about the wasted time... it was the failure.
Baking is 'my thing'... it's what I've 'always done', it's what I 'love doing'.. it's what 'people know' about me.. it's one ingredient in the recipe that makes up 'who I am'..
I bet right now you could tick off a list of things... from hobbies to careers... that makes up 'who you are'. The list likely represents the picture you planned out for yourself... maybe on numerous "about me" projects... Each describing word holding years of dedication to the craft. Maybe you are a teacher who spent your high school years volunteering at a daycare for experience, studied four years to earn your degree, took exams to become certified, walked in and out of countless interviews, and now pulling from every angle to master a perfectly curated lesson plan.. hoping to keep your students engaged.. to keep them connected.. to share your years of work in the form of wisdom. You are a teacher. Maybe you are a runner who spent your youth practicing for races, continued to train year after year.. which led you to marathons. Now you run everyday to stay in shape, to maintain the work you've put in... the miles you've ran. You are a runner.
The exams, the interviews, the miles, the metals... they are just ingredients. The years, the money, the time... they are just recipes. Ingredients and recipes are not the masterpiece. We are not defined by a career. We are not defined by a hobby. Sometimes we assume we have failed... sometimes we fail and assume it makes us weak... sometimes we fail and assume we have wasted something... sometimes we fail and we assume it defines us.. but these are not failures... this is our path.
Who are we... if not teachers, if not runners, if not bakers, readers, or doctors... who are we...?
We are Christ's children. We are His masterpiece... we are His pumpkin snickerdoodle cookie that is cooked to absolute perfection. We find our Identity in Him. Our masterpiece is not created from a list of describing words, years of education, or even a few 'failed' trials... in three 'failed' recipes I learned what happens when you use too much flour, when you bake with expired baking soda, and I learned how the potency of different sweeteners determines the quantity you should use... ingredients weren't wasted, money wasn't wasted, and time wasn't wasted... I learned about myself, I learned about life, I learned to trust other people... I became a better baker.. and He showed me 'who I am'.
Read Ephesians 1:3-14
The Father’s Plan of Salvation.3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavens, 4 as he chose us in him, before the foundation of the world, to be holy and without blemish before him. In love 5 he destined us for adoption to himself through Jesus Christ, in accord with the favor of his will, 6 for the praise of the glory of his grace that he granted us in the beloved.
Fulfillment through Christ.7 In him we have redemption by his blood, the forgiveness of transgressions, in accord with the riches of his grace 8 that he lavished upon us. In all wisdom and insight, 9 he has made known to us the mystery of his will in accord with his favor that he set forth in him 10 as a plan for the fullness of times, to sum up all things in Christ, in heaven and on earth.
Inheritance through the Spirit. 11 In him we were also chosen, destined in accord with the purpose of the One who accomplishes all things according to the intention of his will, 12 so that we might exist for the praise of his glory, we who first hoped in Christ. 13 In him you also, who have heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and have believed in him, were sealed with the promised holy Spirit, 14 which is the first installment of our inheritance toward redemption as God’s possession, to the praise of his glory.
If you 'fail', if you change your mind, if He pulls you down the opposite path... do not be afraid. "If today you hear God's voice harden not your heart." PS 95:8 Trust in His recipe for your life... every single ingredient you've used so far, every price you've paid, and every second you've spent has led you to this moment in your journey... your journey to everlasting life... your journey to masterpiece. Nothing has been wasted.
“For I know well the plans I have in mind for you, so as to give you a future of hope. When you call me, and come and pray to me, I will listen to you. When you look for me, you will find me. Yes, when you seek me with all your heart, I will let you find me.”
by courtney.
