Kindness is NOT Cowardly
August 19, 2019
There is a fine line to walk between being kind and being cowardly. I think sometimes we try so hard to be kind, that we end up tip toeing and falling over the line. I used to tip toe this line so often and didn’t even realize it was happening… and occasionally find myself still looking over the edge.
What exactly do I mean… this kindness and cowardly talk…
“I’m just not confrontational.”
“I know it wasn’t ‘right’ but I didn’t want to be mean.”
“No, I don’t agree but I just didn’t want to ‘start anything’.”
“I know my efforts are worth more, but I don’t want to step on anyone’s toes.”
Do any of these sound familiar? These are just a few ways ‘kindness’ could be masking potentially cowardly actions.
* A note on kindness… kindness is {in my opinion} one of the most beautiful qualities a person can embody… kindness is a quality that requires maturity and refinement… and personally, I think it is forever evolving as I discover my craft in kindness.
let’s take a little journey… an overlook at an evolving kindness… a few cowardly bumps along the way… but a refined kindness awaits…
As we start to grow and interact with other people in the world… as our first gesture of kindness – we learn is a smile. We smile and watch the reaction of those around us as they ‘oohhh and aahhh’. We recognize that this action brings others joy so we keep that token of kindness in our back pocket.
Then we head off to school and our parents, teachers, and siblings teach us how to share with others. This token may take a little longer to master, but once we find ourselves on the receiving end… we are able to comprehend the power of kindness through sharing… which throws us right into the ‘golden rule’ token of kindness… this one can maneuver us through almost any situation so we keep this token of kindness on the forefront… we use it, we see it, we teach it… we start to decide what situations we can incorporate it into, how we will incorporate it… we start to refine our craft.
Soon we start to discover that not everyone has the same ideas… not everyone’s ‘golden rule’ is the same… and not everyone quite knows how to use it… maybe they lost their token along the way, or haven’t yet discovered it…
So here we are trying to shed light into others lives as we go about our days… smiling, sharing, treating others like we want to be treated… with respect, with compassion, with understanding… or however you’ve defined and refined your kindness thus far…
* This is what makes kindness such a beautiful quality… it is so unique to each person. The way I have created kindness and the way my neighbors have created their own is completely individualized… there isn’t a ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ way to be kind… we haven’t all picked up the same tokens… but we do all have the capacity to be kind… and share in our experiences.
Naturally, as we grow we develop our own beliefs… we have conflicts with others who have also developed beliefs… that won’t always align with our own. We start to have conflicts with our friends, our bosses, in our closest relationships, with people of power… when we hear this word ‘conflict’ sometimes it is easy to feel like it should be avoided… the thought of having to partake in conflict is daunting and it induces feelings of anxiety and stress.
But conflict is not the opposite of kindness… conflict does not destroy kindness… in fact, conflict is the perfect tool to refine and mature your kindness. Conflict is the ultimate training opportunity… how will you craft your kindness to navigate the situation?
Over the years you have discovered new tokens, lost tokens, borrowed tokens from influential people, shared your tokens with others… now is the time to riffle through them, pick the best ones for the situation, and be kind.
Now is not the time to walk away.
Stand for what you believe in. Stand up for those who can’t.
Stand up for yourself… because you deserve to have a voice. This can sometimes be the most difficult… you might think it just ‘isn’t worth it’ but you are refining yourself… if you continue to overlook conflict… overlook the opportunities to stand up for yourself… you create a habit of tip toeing the line {there is a fine line to walk between being kind and being cowardly] … you don’t want to fall…
kindness is NOT cowardly… kindness is courageous.
“watch your thoughts, they become words
watch your words, they become actions
watch your actions, they become habits
watch your habits, they become character
watch your character, for it becomes your destiny”
I wish you best on your journey to a mature and refined kindness… collect as many tokens along the way, give away tokens you discover, and never turn away from a challenge for the sake of ‘kindness’… the challenges hold the most precious tokens.
by courtney.
