waiting.
“He is like a tree planted beside the waters
that stretches out its roots to the stream:
It fears not the heat when it comes,
its leaves stay green;
In the year of drought it shows no distress,
but still bears fruit.” // Jeremiah 17:8
Waiting on the answer: waiting on the right man, the new friends, the healing, the grief to pass, the job, the house, the child, the family’s mend, the return to peace. The Resurrection. More moments are held in waiting than in triumph, or days of jubilee. Mary and Joseph waited nine months to meet the Savior of the world, as their little child. Jesus spent 40 days waiting in the desert to lead to His resurrection and our redemption. We, too, wait through Advent to encounter the Christmas season. We, too, walk through the Lenten desert to ready ourselves for the Resurrection. And, over and over again, we find ourselves waiting through the unique seasons of our own lives.
The waiting is the classroom as our roots take hold and we learn perseverance. In the waiting, we learn where our strength comes from, who accompanies us, and ultimately we discover the source of our jubilee.
We are now two weeks into the Lenten season and I find myself aching for the joy of Easter. As I read this verse from Jeremiah I felt a shift in my heart, an ache that eased. It always surprises me how Lent will align with the circumstances of my life each year. Lately, I have been locked in on the road of discernment. There are times in our lives when we are racked with decisions, and even good choices can cause restlessness, panic, and a sense of chaos in our hearts. We want answers. We want the Father to place a clearly marked ‘turn this way’ sign in our path. When the answers don’t come we panic. Our hope is that we come to the correct choice instantly, as if our human strength and self-reliance can meet an imaginary timeline.
This week I found myself caught in this exact wheel of sign-seeking discernment. And, it was spinning F-A-S-T. I had an immense amount of pressure I placed on myself from every angle. This decision, dream, and desire was a good thing. But, despite its goodness, I had turned this beautiful opportunity to journey with the Father into a burden I needed to figure out ASAP. I was pleading for a sign, hoping, and wishing for that clearly marked arrow. It didn’t come, just more anguish that squashed the joy I had moments before. Then, one late night in prayer, through the spinning thoughts, the Father asked me to wait. In my heart He revealed to me the romance of the process of waiting. What is the rush? Why do you need to decide right now? Dream daughter. Tell me your desires. We can figure this out together in time. Leave your ‘pros and cons’ list at my feet. Just take my hand and let’s take the next small step. Keep doing what you love; be led where you find joy. So, I obliged and said I would wait. I would let go of my own expectations and enjoy the surprise of the next step. Let it be done to me (Lk 1:38).
I won’t pretend that I was excited for the waiting, I was merely willing. I love to be in the know and be completely prepared for my future. He loves the waiting though. He knows everything I will be and all we will create together in the waiting. I will also never gain a single moment from worrying or trying to figure out my future (Lk 12:25). The Father is so gracious, and He wants so much for us in our lives. Read these words from Jeremiah and let the romance of waiting with the Father transform the journey you are on right now. Small matter or large, death defying or trivial, the waiting is where we have the everyday encounter. We were made for waiting, no, we are made in the waiting.
No matter the season of life we walk through, we remain rooted in Truth, rooted in our Father. The Holy Spirit is never far away. When the heat comes, when the trials come, we do not wither. Instead, we dig deeper, reaching out to touch the living water that is our nourishment and our strength. So that despite this drought, still we produce His goodness in the desert (Jer 17:8). We will not only produce good fruits after we reach the decision, or succeed at such and such, or find our partner, or have enough friends, or get into the school. We are producing good fruits right now. In the waiting.
From ache to ease He seeks to give you rest in the waiting. “In green pastures He makes me lie down; to still waters He leads me; He restores my soul” (Ps 23:2-3). His desire for you to wait is not a punishment, rather it is a respite. He longs for your heart to be restored by resting in Him. In the waiting, when your roots reach out to the stream, He renews you. So lay down and rest your head on the green grass. Let your timeline and your expectations float away with the clouds, and as the Son warms you, bask in His abiding love. If you rush to the marriage alter, you will miss out on the romance that led you there.
Prayer
Jesus, my loving guide and kind teacher, You direct me to communion in You. When I abide with You, I find the meaning in my life. You reveal to me the answered prayers in a timing I can never understand, but You know the goodness and potential of my life. Lord, I pray that Your desires will be my desires. May Your grace always be more than enough for my heart. When I ask You, Jesus, when I seek You, Jesus, You never fail me. Over and over again You overflow my life with Your goodness. You never give up on me or cease to draw my heart from ache to ease with a single touch, a single word. Your nourishment is all I need. Grant that You are the first One I turn to when I am in distress, when the heat comes. I will not fear the desert, Jesus, Your stream gives me strength and everlasting life.
Questions
Are you in a season of waiting, triumph, or contentment? What led you there?
Do you have dreams? Are you dreaming on your own, or are you sharing and allowing the Lord to inspire you?
Think back on times of waiting. What enormous growth did you receive in these seasons? How were you still bearing good fruits in the season of waiting? Who was the source of your strength and perseverance?
Is the Lord calling you to rest in Him during this season? Are you seeking an answer on a timeline? Lay down your expectations at the foot of the cross. Walk with Him on this journey and find out what He desires for your next step. Enjoy the surprise of the unknown. If this level of surrender is scary for you, tell Him.
x courtney.
