surprise.

Does God ever surprise you?

Mostly, when I think of God surprising me it’s in the big and obvious kind of way. The giant yellow yield signs I hadn’t ‘planned’ for in my career, the unexpected opportunities I couldn’t have ‘planned’ for on my own, the breathtaking beauty crafted into this world. Along with these heart stopping surprises, lately I’ve come to know the God of surprises a little more intimately, and a little more often… in the little surprises.

Fifteen minutes doesn’t seem like a long time, right? I thought so too. I wanted to go for a walk, just like I had many times before, only this time I was drawn to a prayer walk. I had this fleeting memory stirring in my heart of my first, true prayer walk I had taken on my confirmation retreat, about eight years ago. I remember basking in the beauty of the trees, the quiet, the stillness. My heart was alive in the Holy Spirit, in the calm, quant kind of way that it is after a weekend of confession, adoration, and worship. I don’t know what brought up this moment of stillness, but it was a calm I craved almost to tears.

I had eight years on this day. Eight years of spiritual maturity under me, eight years of time spent with the Lord, my Father, and friend. I could surely rekindle this blessed memory, and ignite the spiritual calmness I once found among the trees. So, just like the many walks I’d taken through the years, I set out.. and surprise! Calm was not what I found.

My mind was in a noise withdrawal two minutes down the street. Where were my podcast friends? Where was the worship music? What am I going to make for dinner? I totally forgot to get the mail. I recognized my reality and immediately, I ached for my journal. There are so many ways to pray… through scripture, journalling, worship. Up until this walk, my prayer had been predominately through writing. When I write to Him, He brings to me parts of my heart I didn’t know existed, He brings to me parts of my heart I didn’t know I was hiding. On this walk, I heard the still, small voice of a loving Father telling me I might be talking a little too much. I have been begging for answers. I have been desperate for direction. I have been searching and asking. Like the gentle Teacher He is, He put down my voice, He slowed my run to a walk, and He showed me how to find His voice.

That fleeting memory of a calm, little soul on fire… a little soul so content in quiet time with her Father, was a fleeting surprise from Him. He was inviting me into a place of reflection and into a space of longing. He showed me where I was filling my cup with good, good things, but my cup was too full. We are blessed my so many resources like podcasts, books, worship music and videos. We consume, and consume.. but we forget to process.

Fifteen minutes seemed like five hours. In the silence, in the reflective moments of my heart. But the little surprises of a distant memory, the little surprises of an invitation to walk.. led me fifteen minutes closer to that quiet, calm heart I’ve been longing for. (see John 14:21) So I pray for more little surprises, which is something that terrifies me. He knows how desperately we cling to control, but He knows how desperately we seek complete surrender. The good news, brothers and sisters, is we don’t have to find it alone. We have a gentle, loving Father waiting to teach us. He is waiting for you to invite Him in so He can show you how to get there. Little by little, He is leads us to the land we’ve already been promised. (see Luke 12:32)

He continues to surprise me in the littlest of ways. Over Advent, I walked through Luke on my stories. The Holy Spirit led me in ways I could have never crafted on my own. The one-chapter study on instagram stories, I hoped would bring people together did that and so much more. The Gospel enlightened my life every day, and gave me a biblical perspective on the world. On the last day I wasn’t relieved, I didn’t check it from my ‘to do’ list. Instead, I had a craving for more. Today, I ventured to begin another virtual study of a chapter in the Bible. A certain verse from Ephesians had been stirring in my heart for a few days so I decided on this letter by Paul. The entire letter is only six chapters so I assumed this would be an easy, quick devotional to write and share. SURPRISE! I spent thirty minutes in the first ten verses. I didn’t even realize the time had flown by. The rich words captivated me, and I was moved by the magnitude of love that could be contained in so few words. An hour passed by, and I eventually finished the very first chapter.

May we pray..

My time is yours, Lord. My plans are yours, Lord. Move my feet where you wish, straighten my path as you might.

Amen.

Find a quiet space in your house, or in nature, to consider these questions.

Are you craving a still, calm heart?

What parts of your life are causing you restlessness?

Where in your life are you continuing to desperately cling to control?

Ask God, your loving Father and gentle Teacher, to reveal to you His voice. (see Matthew 7:7-8)

Quiet our little souls, Lord. Let us find rest in your embrace. Grant to us, oh loving Father, ears opened to your whisper and hearts soften to your lessons. Amen.

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give it to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid.” John 14:27

You can find each chapter of the Luke devotional and the new Ephesians devotional in my Instagram highlights.

xx courtney.