lights camera.

I love to jump into a bootcamp workout… most days.

I walked into my normal Tuesday class… and there was a guy standing near the coach with a camera. My stomach immediately did a flip. OH NO. I am in no way, shape, or form to be recorded - especially today. Nonetheless, I was there. He was there… and to be quite honest I didn’t see a way out.

The energy in the room was heightened. Sprints became powerful. The presses were impressive. I even noticed myself executing each move with the best form I could. I was giving each exercise my full energy, one hundred and ten percent. Then…. I got t-i-r-e-d. Like big time tired. My legs were quivering, my heart beating out of my chest, and my arms hanging by my sides like limp noodles. I didn’t want to modify the workout. I didn’t want to look weak, or show my exhaustion. I got tired, and the camera man was still there.

I pushed through. If he weren’t there, no way you could have seen me completing one more pushup off my knees. But he was still there, so I persevered… until I couldn’t. I gave in to my body’s pleading. My weakness overcame my pride. I dropped the weights, I used my knees, I sipped my water. But he was still there, camera ‘on’ and all.

The Holy Spirit began speaking into my heart.

How do you pray when you are before the blessed sacrament, in adoration, in mass, when you are on your knees before the crucifix? You pray sincerely. You lift Him up in His glory with thanksgiving. You step into the center of your soul and you let Him walk around. You let Him dwell in your house where He wills, you let Him pick up and move things around. You bring Him your very best. When He is in front of you, starring you in your eyes - you put on your camera face, you give Him your best form.

When you are walking into work, at the coffee shop, or running errands how is your demeanor? How do you pray? Would you have said those words if The Camera Man was there? Was that action your best form? When you get tired and your weakness begins to overtake you, what is rooting your perseverance?

The Camera Man is always rolling. The Father’s gaze is consuming your present moment. He never leaves you. Gaze your eyes, let your heart imagine the crucifixion of Jesus. His journey to Calvery. The Father never left Him. When He got tired, when the weight of the cross became unbearable… Jesus knew the stakes. He knew the camera was still rolling. He didn’t let the camera prevent Him from showing His human weakness. And, yet, His bodily weakness was never strong enough to overcome His sacrificial love. He persevered. In His darkest moments, Jesus let The Camera Man’s presence keep Him moving towards the goal - our salvation.

How are you showing love when the lights go out, when you are completely exhausted and you can’t feel the presence of the camera, when you don’t feel Him near? Friends, this is where you call the Lord even closer. For it is exactly in our weakness that He draws us closer to His heart. It is in our weakness that He intercedes for our holiness.

““My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.” I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me. Therefore, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and constraints, for the sake of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong. ”

2 Corinthians 12:9-10

You are on your last rep. Your legs are burning. Your arms shaking. You want to give up. You say it out loud, “I can’t do it. I’m done.” Does your coach say, “Okay, good job… you’re strong enough”? No! He says, “You ARE strong enough! You CAN do this! You have one more in you!” And if he must, he will get behind you and spot you until you finish the last rep. But, you WILL finish the last rep because that is how you become stronger.

“May the God of Peace himself make you perfectly holy and may you entirely, spirit, soul, and body, be preserved blameless for the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. The one who calls you is faithful, and he will also accomplish it. Sisters, pray for us too.”

1 Thessalonians 5:23-35

What footage are you giving Jesus? Are you showing up and off for the highlights? Don’t protect your pride from weakness. He is present. His camera is always rolling and His gaze is always resting on your soul. Don’t be afraid to show The Camera Man your weakness. It never becomes too dark for the Father to see you. You are never too weak to finish the last rep - and you never have to do it alone. It is truly in this weakness we become purified, perfected, sanctified in spirit, soul, and body. In these small moments of sacrifice, in loving obedience… when it’s uncomfortable and we choose His path anyways, He accomplishes this.

“Indeed, the ways of each person are plain to the Lord’s sight; all their paths he surveys…”

Proverbs 5:21

Questions for Reflection…

When we are in the presence of the Lord, sacramentally, or before Him in active prayer we bring our best form. We expect those around us to be in best form. If The Camera Man is present, and all actions are the footage of your life… where would we be embarrassed to have the cameras rolling? At school, at work, on the highway? Are we encouraging our peers, our coworkers, our brothers and sisters to show up in the presence of the Lord? Are our actions reflecting the exchanges of our prayers?

Are we bringing all the raw footage before Him? Our best form, our weakness, our darkness? He wants it all.

x courtney.