for the journey.
Jesus has been dragging me out for runs lately.
Running has always been my escape. Everywhere I’ve lived in the last half decade has had a special place for my emotional outlet - running. Looking back and right in front of me I realize ‘emotional outlet’ is far too surface level for the place running holds in my life. I never really choose to run. Running is hard, it takes motivation, and when the journey gets painful you have to learn how to will your body. (sorry for the cliche) Running is a lot like life, and it has taught me so much about mine.
I say I don’t normally choose running, but my drive to run comes in seasons. Jesus calls me out to the trails, the seawall, the hills, and I find a sanctuary of peace. Once I find this spot I go back time and time again. I never know what I will be doing, how long it will be, what I will learn, or where the Lord will sway my mind. Sometimes I listen to podcasts, music, books, or the birds. Sometimes I’m inspired with a recipe and run home to create. Sometimes I’m mulling over a hard decision, or sorting through the events of a horrible day. Always, my Father speaks directly to my heart. He meets me where I am and He fills in the little cracks I’ve chipped in my soul. My Potter sculpts me and refines my edges. My gentle teacher corrects me on my path. My protector strengthens my spirit. I think He calls me out to run because on the trail He has my undivided attention. And sometimes I finish weeping amidst the all-consuming grace He delivers on the journey.
Something I will never get used to is the way the Lord reveals His love and truth through time. Let me be honest when I sit down to meditate over scripture I am fully ready to receive His message for my life right then, and I nine times out of ten close my prayer having learned what I thought was His message for me. Only, it was only ‘a’ message for me, because He will keep that word rooted in my soil without my having known. He will let me have forgotten it was there as He shines His golden light over it, rushes His cleansing water, and breathes life into it. Then, it will sprout up while I’m at the grocery store, in the middle of a run, or starring into the eyes of a loved one. That beautiful shoot will surprise me every time. As suddenly as the shoot emerges, in His abundance of grace, He brings forth glorious petals of vibrant color. I never grow used to these sweet consolations from the Lord. These moments never cease to consume me in joy and sustain me for the journey.
Last week I read 1 Kings 19:4-8…
“Elijah was afraid and fled for his life, going to Beer-sheba of Judah. He left his servant there and went a day’s journey into the wilderness, until he came to a solitary broom tree and sat beneath it. He prayed for death: “Enough, Lord! Take my life, for I am no better than my ancestors.” He lay down and fell asleep under the solitary broom tree, but suddenly a messenger touched him and said, “Get up and eat!” He looked and there at his head was a hearth cake and a jug of water. After he ate and drank, he lay down again, but the angel of the Lord came back a second time, touched him, and said, “Get up and eat or the journey will be too much for you!” He got up, ate, and drank; then strengthened by that food, he walked forty days and forty nights to the mountain of God, Horeb.”
After merely brushing the surface of Elijah’s outcry, days later amongst a long run his story melted into my own. My past, my present, my deepest pains, and my daily trials drawing to the surface. Jesus will not leave you. He has chosen you, and called you out for a purpose. He will call you to run on the journey, especially when it is painful. He will call you to rest in His peace when it seems like all has been taken from you. He won’t ask you to figure it out on your own. He will give you food for the journey. He will give you His living, life-giving food for the journey that will sustain you for eternity. Elijah’s outcry and the Lord’s call gives me practical and literal instruction to make it through my journey. Motivation does not come from me. I cannot provide for myself. I will never be able to climb out from under the tree of despair by my own will. He is my source of life. He won’t give up on me, or you. He will provide and sustain you for your journey, you must only get up and eat.
x courtney.
